“I awoke one morning and thought about all the roads I won’t be able to follow because my time is running out — and all the things I can’t do because my strength is failing.
Should I run like mad and hide from those dark thoughts? Or, are they only phantom fears?
How shall I separate reality from fantasy and not waste my tears on diminishing years?
What happened to middle age?
Somehow, when I arrived it wasn’t there.
That isn’t fair — I seem to have leapt from young to old.
The face that stares back at me in the mirror has already done its living — but when?
Where was I when it happened?
I want to stop the ticking of the clock, because its rhythm echoes my numbered heartbeat. I want to restrain its hands from advancing and to halt the sun at blazing noonday to keep away the lengthening shadows — but I don’t know how.
So I must endow this moment with life and joy and be brave — I dare not wait for tomorrow, intending to borrow by instalments each illusive day to do my living, then only to lose it again.
Thank God for now!
Excerpts from the poem Life — Stop Crowding Me!
by Leona Choy
I must confess, I have been dealing with similar thoughts these past few weeks, having made the decision to sell my home of 26 years and move to a retirement residence — Okanagan Chateau, right here in our city centre.
I felt that it was time to simplify my life — to handle the business of selling my home, while mentally and physically able and to make my own choice where I would spend my days, at least for now.
During the last few weeks, I especially enjoyed my patio in my Glenmeadows home, as I gazed across to the majestic Dilworth Mountain.
My commune with our Heavenly Father brought to mind Psalm 121: 1-2.
“I lift up my eyes to the hills — where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.” Verses 7, 8.
“The Lord will keep you from all harm — he will watch over your life. The Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forever more.”
What assurance!
I will miss my patio and the beauty of each changing season. Also, those visits from Mother Quail who often came by to show off her little ones.
Then, I remembered — in my new home I will have a smaller wrap-around patio, but one that which will still provide a place to entertain in similar fashion. It will be my place for my early morning moments with my Father — peering across to view the very same Dilworth Mountain, but just at a different angle, with a green meadow nearby.
My patio is too high for quails to visit, but I have already heard their throaty calls welcoming me to my new residence.
I decided to have a group of my friends join me for “patio chatter” one last time over coffee and treats from nearby Tripke Bakery.
They prayed God’s blessing over me and my new venture, with the reminder from Isaiah 12: 2-3:
”I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, is my strength and my song.”
One last patio celebration with family, saw us gathering with Carolyn, my Kamloops daughter-in-law, to honour her recent retirement from a 36-year teaching career.
This August has been moving month for our family. A week prior to my move, my grand-daughter, Sarah with husband Tyler, moved to a new house they just bought.
Then, another move for Sarah to her new classroom where she and her mom, Carolyn, set it all up last week — ready for the coming school year.
How blessed I have been, with my family so willingly providing manpower for my move. All hands were on deck come moving day.
Dave and Carolyn came from Kamloops to help again with their second move within a week.
Within a few short hours, my suite began to resemble “home.”
How awesome that Roger’s three weeks of holidays occurred at just the right time.
Hoping for some fishing time as well with his boat, it just didn’t happen — mainly because of the dense smoke from the wildfires throughout our province that enveloped much of the province.
Roger, I think, strongly felt, “We make our plans, but God directs our steps.”
He and Karen, with James arriving after his day’s work, spent many long hours scrubbing and cleaning, wishing to leave our home in A-1 condition.
Son-in-law, Mark — having been away working in Saskatchewan — made it back in time to help by power-washing my patio and driveway.
Karen’s short poem said it well.
Written on a "Welcome to your new home" card, along with keys and gate openers, we said our good-byes to No. 42 and my Glenmeadows neighbours.
“My kids scrubbed and they worked to make No. 42 shine,
For it’s held many memories for this family of mine.
We pray that these walls will surround your loved ones too,
With a sense of God’s Presence in all that you do."
With a sense of God’s Presence in all that you do."
One last ceremony — the passing to my dear neighbour Hedy, my trusty well-made, corn broom.
Hedy used to borrow it, so I promised it to her after all our work at No. 42 was complete. She says, “They just don’t make them like this one anymore.”
Now, I am trying to adjust to what seems a little like “cruise ship pampering.”
Three meals a day with lots of food choices, house-keeping each week, delightful entertainment, an available handyman, etc., etc. Before leaving, Roger had my last picture hung, a blind installed in my bedroom to block the morning sun, a night light under my kitchen counter, carpet from my house patio now gracing my narrow but delightful patio, accommodating my furniture and potted flowers.
Roger enjoyed the second bedroom at my place a few nights before leaving and shared several meals in the dining room.
Forgive me for writing such a long blog.
Until later, my God will take care of me — today, tomorrow and forever!
— beulah
Oh My! I just want to hug you. I didn't want the blog to stop.
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