Talking in tongues... "Hello?"

    

"I've heard said that English is one of the hardest languages to learn. I believe it!' 

— Beulah Eagles

 
     English is my native tongue, but I have often wished I had learned the French language while growing up in my home province of New Brunswick.

     It is the only officially bilingual province in our country.    
     The English language seems to change according to the way people use it, and perhaps that's a good thing, otherwise, we'd still be speaking like Chaucer in the 1390's. 

     "Be not wrooth, my lord, though that I pleye. Ful ofte in game a sooth I have herd say."

— Geoffrey Chaucer, The Canterbury Tales

     

      New words appear as we need them, as if by magic: byte, internet, hip-hop, wellness, etc. 'Cool' from the 50's is still 'cool' now in 2013, 'groovy', a child of the 60's, was 'lame' by the 70's.  
     


     Here's a few reasons why the English language is so hard to learn: (Note a different pronunciation for each of the two words spelled the same). 

1.The bandage was 'wound' around the 'wound'. 

2.The farm was used to 'produce' 'produce'. 

3.The buck 'does' funny things when the 'does' are present. 

     How much more confusing can it get?  Let's face it — English is a crazy language. For example: There is no egg in eggplant, or ham in hamburger. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.  
     What about these paradoxes? Quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea, nor is it a pig.  How can a 'slim chance' and a 'fat chance' be the same, while a 'wise man' and a 'wise guy' are opposites? Indeed, we marvel at the lunacy in which your 'house can burn up' as it 'burns down', and an 'alarm goes off' by 'going on'. 
     English, being invented by people not computers, reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. And, what about, when the stars are out, they are 'visible', but, when the lights are out, they are 'invisible'. 
     

     Highly confused with our English language yet?  

P.S. By the way, Why doesn't 'buick' rhyme with 'quick'?

— beulah